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How to Tell Your Children “We are getting separated”

admin — Tue, 25 May 2010 13:34:53 +0000

Children suffer most in a split up. Responsible parents can reduce stress for their children by acting like grownups. Pre-planning is best and the more the parents work together to resolve the specifics of the custodial arrangement before the separation, the better and more concrete information you will have to share with the kids when the time comes. This mature approach creates the most stable environment for your kids.

Both parents should read A Child’s Bill of Rights and sign the agreement before sitting down with the kids. This will help set important expectations and help ensure the parent’s act in the children’s best interests.

When & how to tell children about separation and divorce

When you and your spouse are dead certain that you will be separating to obtain a divorce, you should jointly decide when to tell the kids and what to tell them. It is best to do this shortly before one spouse moves out of the house. Both parents should be present when the children are told and all children should be told at the same time. This is a mature, responsible way to deal with the issue and it sends a positive message to the children about their future. Arguing about what to tell the children in front of the children is a recipe for disaster.

What to say to children about separation and divorce

Above all, reassuring the children that both parents have unconditional love for the kids is paramount. It is important to reassure the children that it is not their fault and that you both love them and will continue to be with them. Above all, be honest and remain calm for the kids so that they can see that things will be ok. Neither parent should be blamed for the impending divorce. Kids often expect an explanation for what is happening and it is good to give a general explanation but no specific details should be shared about why you are getting a divorce. However, specific details regarding where the kids will live, where the departing parent will live and how often the children will see and spend time with each parent will comfort them. Therefore, working all of this out in advance is best for the children and will make the “telling” process simpler. One therapist, has created an interactive web-site where you can create a personalized storybook for use in telling your children about the divorce.

What children want to know

Where will I sleep?
How often will I see dad? …mom?
Will I change schools?
Will I stay with my brothers and sisters?
What happens to my dog, cat, etc.?
What happens if I get ill?
Did I cause this?

What not to do

Kids should not be expected to deal with adult problems. Here are just a few definite “no’s”:

Never blame the child for the divorce or make him or her think it is their fault.
Don’t put the children in the middle of an argument let alone an all our war.
Don’t pull the kids out of class at school to tell them. Do it at home in a safe place.
Don’t blame the other parent or say bad things about them.
Don’t ask the child what he or she wants to do. You are the parent and the child expects you to be in charge.
Don’t pressure the child to choose sides.
Don’t make promises to the child for the purpose of gaining favor.
Don’t use guilt!
Comfort your child; don’t expect the child to comfort you!

Get professional help

Each family situation is different. Before you sit down with your children, you should consult a divorce lawyer and work out the specifics on child custody and visitation. You should also consult with a licensed mental health professional for advice on how to address your children’s needs before you break the news. At Rice Law, we often work with Denise Scearce, MSW, LCSW and Bridge Builders Counseling and Psychotherapy in Wilmington, North Carolina.

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Wedding Party Favor Buttons

admin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 08:00:17 +0000

wedding Party Favor Buttons” />

SKU 55832-FM 6 wedding party favor buttons includes: “I’m the Bride”, “I’m the Maid of Honor”, “I’m the Mother of the Bride” and 3 “I’m a Bride’s Maid”. Great for bachelor & bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, bridal showers, wedding party and reception fun! The measurements of these buttons are as follows: “I’m the Bride” is approximately 3″ x 3″, and the other buttons measure approximately 2 1/2″ x 2 1/2″.

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Purse & Shoe Organizer

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:58:20 +0000

Purses and shoes are many womens favorite accessory to their outfit. Made of 100% natural cotton canvas, this hanging purse & shoe organizer is comprised of 4 center shelves for storing shoes or shirts and 6 side slots (3 on each side) that are pur… Purses and shoes are many womens favorite accessory to their outfit. Made of 100% natural cotton canvas, this hanging purse & shoe organizer is comprised of 4 center shelves for storing shoes or shirts and 6 side slots (3 on each side) that are purse-fit for your storing purses and handbags. The design of the purse and shoe organizer incorporates accessible compartments that help make finding things easy for you. It is recommended that you apply Scotch Guard to the Purse & Shoe Organizer to keep it free from stains. This product measures 30″ L x 8″ W x 14″ D and comes with a 2-year manufacturers warranty.

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TravelSmith – Black & White Small Cosmetic Bag

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:58:10 +0000

The Perfect Travel Cosmetic BagIdeal for makeup, toiletries, or valuables. In cotton canvas with faux-leather detailing. Imported.Black & White Small Cosmetic Bag7 3/4″ x 4″ x 2

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What are my chances in a pregnancy occuring this month?

admin — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:59:33 +0000

I dont have a regular menstrual cycle. I didnt have a period in September but I had two in October one Oct. 2 & the other Oct. 30. I had intercourse with my partner on November 6 according to a ovulation chart my fertile days didnt occur until the 9th. What are my chances in a pregnancy occuring this month?

First let me explain why I disagree with your "fertile days".
1) If you have an irregular period no one knows when you are going to ovulate including some ovulation chart.
2) Even if you had a regular period, your cycle is 28 days long according to what you posted.
Based on a 28 day cycle you would ovulate 12-16 days BEFORE your period starts.
It is a mistake to count forward from the beginning of your last period. The time between the start of your period and the time you ovulate is the follicular phase and it can vary greatly.
THe accurate way to count is backwards because every woman has a similar luteal phase (the time between ovulation adn the start of your next period). Like I said before, it’s 12-16 days for the luteal phase with a pretty strong average of 14 days.

So based on all of that if you are experiencing another 28 day cycle you would expect your next period on November 27th about and you would ovulate on the 13th about. BUT since you do not have regular cycles it coudl be much later but highly doubtful that it woud be sooner because a cycle shorter than 26 days or so isn’t very common.

SO my guess is no, doubt you will get pregnant this month.

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Are there similarities between the symptoms of early pregnancy & perimenopause?

admin — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:59:31 +0000

I am 36 and 6 days late. I already have children and was not planning on more, so I do however recognize the symptoms of pregnancy. I have taken several home pregnancys tests and they all result in a negative reading? I did have unprotected sex so pregnancy could be a possibility. My mom go through menopause early she is convinced that I am going through perimenopause. Anyone every experience similar, or know anything about this I have been doing some research and cannot find much information. HELP!

Yes, there are lots of similarities. I had this happen when I was about your age – skipped one period completely, and was sure I was pregnant. The primary difference is that when I was pregnant my breasts were very sensitive, and with perimenopause, that doesn’t happen so much.

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What are some islamic wedding dress websites?

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:28:39 +0000

I need to know where i can find islamic wedding dresses. It can be malaysian dresses or anything else, but it has to be modest. I want to know as many websites as possible, please help me. Thanks!

http://www.ubrides.com/home.php?cat=744&catexp=744

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What winter wedding colors would you choose?

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:01:21 +0000

another wedding question!!! :]

I just started planning my wedding for December 2010 and am having trouble deciding what colors to do! I was thinking

White & Red
White & Silver
White and an icy blue color

What would you suggest out of these? Or, if you think of any others please let me know! My wedding is definately on a budget, so be aware of that! Thanks!

I’d go with red, white & silver. Red & White alone makes me think of candy canes but adding some silver to it would add some holiday sparkle!

Technorati Tags: Amp, Budget, Candy Canes, Planning Wedding, Silver White, Sparkle, Wedding Colors, Wedding Question, Winter Wedding

Japanese Weekend D & A Slit Front Nursing Top

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:30:52 +0000

Japanese Weekend D & A Slit Front Nursing Top pre-pregnancy size current bust jw size 4 up to 36″ x-small 6-8 up to 38″ small 10-12 up to 40″ medium 14 up to 42″ large 16-18 up to 44″ x-large

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What is the name of the store selling nice handbags & clothes with free shipping & starts with a Z ?

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:22:12 +0000

My daughter in law just called and said that when she was in a beauty salon, she overheard two others talking about an online store, which started with a Z, with free shipping & great deals on handbags & clothing. I said at least I’d put the question in! Thank you!!

It’s definitely Zappos. It offers free return shipping, and you can return anything within 365 days.

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